Pause 19

She was drifting in and out of slumber, on the verge of waking completely. A dream she could not quite remember lingered on her mind, Allura trying to burrow under her covers in an attempt to sneak back into a deeper sleep. But it was not a soft pillow she snuggled against, Allura feeling something firm and warm under her cheek. She started to frown, wondering what had happened to her pillow and blanket. Had she kicked it off the bed? She tried turning in place, meaning to reach out with her arm and feel around for her pillow. Only to find she was firmly wedged against the firm body of the person who shared the bed with her.

Sleep hadn’t been able to completely chase away her awareness after all, Allura snapping open her eyes. Sure enough, Lotor was next to her. He was naked, and his strong arms were around her, holding her as close as possible to him. She wasn’t much better, the bathrobe half off her, her one hand resting on Lotor’s chest. She flushed with guilt, starting to move her hand. But she wasn’t sure where to put it, Allura finally settling for resting it on one of his arms.

Allura could tell by the way he held her to him that she wasn’t going to be wiggling away any time soon. Resignation colored her sigh, Allura lifting her eyes to study Lotor’s sleeping face. His eyes were closed, the lids flickering with their movement. His hair was rumpled, several stray locks held at an awkward angle across his brow. A little more movement and they’d fall directly over his eyes, but Allura resisted any urge to smooth them back.

Instead she lay there, wondering what time it was. If the room had any windows, they were currently well concealed. Nor could she spy any time piece within view of the bed. Allura had a feeling it must be pretty late. Lotor didn’t look like he would wake any time soon, the prince seeming to be in a deep sleep. She wondered if he had felt as exhausted as she had, Allura recognizing that fighting with her had to be a tiring experience.

Of course it hadn’t been all fights, there had been a moment, brief though it was where Lotor had tried to comfort her. Allura still couldn’t believe she had broken down in tears, especially in front of her enemy. She wondered if that drug he had given her was to blame, Allura having felt on the verge of being totally honest with him. But she had fought it, even as it broke her down another way, months of fears overwhelming her. It went beyond her current situation, all the way back to the upset she had first felt upon coming out of her drugged state.

It had felt good to let loose with a much needed cry. Even if Lotor had been present to witness her weakness. But Allura had noticed he hadn’t mocked her, hadn’t taunted her about her tears. Instead he had almost been sweet, pulling her against him as he rocked her and petted her hair. He had murmured soothing words to her, though Allura couldn’t quite remember just what had been said. She had been too focused on crying, shaking in his arms as she let her fears overtake her.

At some point she had fallen asleep, her tears weakening her to the point she just crashed. Allura’s cheeks burned, the girl hardly able to believe she had been able to fall asleep in Lotor’s arms. As though that was a safe place to be, as if she trusted him to protect her. She suddenly snorted, Allura glaring fiercely at the sleeping Lotor’s face. The fact of the matter was she knew it was the opposite, Lotor’s arms anything but safe! He was liable to do anything to her, he had proven it again and again. Most recently just before she had broken down in tears, Allura waking up to find herself being molested by him.

She didn’t quite understand him. Why would he spend so much time on her pleasure? Why wasn’t he just taking what he wanted from her? He had had the opportunity several times over, and yet each time he had held back. Lotor had tormented and teased her, arousing her to a needful state. He had even brought her to a climax on occasion, the Drule seeming to go without. At least in her presence, Allura blushing fiercely as she remembered how he had shouted when alone in the bathroom.

Allura wasn’t sure what sort of game he was playing. He obviously still wanted her, even with her lie of being pregnant by another man. And yet he had made no demands that she satisfy him, a fact that left her confused. Was he trying to drive her nuts, or hoping she’d let down her guard and become vulnerable enough to prey on? Or was she already there, and didn’t realize it yet?

“I don’t understand you.” She whispered to him. There wasn’t any response, but then she hadn’t wanted one. But did Allura want to understand Lotor better? Did she dare try for an understanding that might make her like him just a tad more? She quickly shook her head no, frowning. That would be weakening a different way. But a voice whispered doubts to her. It told her if she never did escape, she might very well have to learn to accept a life with Lotor. Wouldn’t it be better to learn to tolerate him, if not outright like him?

Allura managed not to start chewing on her lip, her anxiety increasing. How quickly had Lotor whittled down her defenses, if she was already contemplating what would happen if a rescue wasn’t successful! She had told him last night she wasn’t easy, but now Allura was doubting that. And all because of that traitorous voice that was trying to prepare her for a future she did not want but might have to accept.

~I have to escape.~ She thought firmly. And all because she might not have time to wait around for a rescue. Especially if she was having these kind of thoughts and doubts, after just one day of captivity! Had the drug he had given her weakened her? She did not know but Allura wondered if there hadn’t been something else mixed in with the Thiopental. Something she could blame her doubts on. Or was these doubts left over from the last time she had been held prisoner? That had been one terrifying time, the moments she could remember. There was brief windows of time where she had been on Haggar’s potion, lusting after Lotor, her actions not her own. But Allura remembered clearly the moments after the sex, when with her climax the potion had worn off.

She had been close to a broken shell, hysterical and sobbing. In so much pain, and unable to be comforted by Lotor. How could she accept his comfort when he was the one who had drugged her? It mattered not that he had felt guilty for the pain she was in after the fact. Nor had it stopped him from using the potion on her a second time. He was a greedy, grasping, and lustful fiend. He took what he wanted, and damn her objections about it. He could play at all the remorse he wanted, it didn’t change the fact that he kept forcing himself on her!

Scowling now, Allura began trying to wiggle away from Lotor. His arms were secure around her, Allura brushing up against his body again and again. She was
surprised when he didn’t wake up right away, Allura putting her hands on his chest and trying to shove him away. She continued her squirming, trying to pull back as she pushed.

At some point Lotor had awakened. She realized it when she began to feel the hardness of his erection against her belly, Lotor reacting to all her squirming. Her face went red at that, Allura debating on slapping him. She clenched her teeth together, and did her best growl. “I know you’re awake.”

His eyes snapped open, gold gaze pinning her in place. “Whatever gave it away?” Allura flashed him her best dirty look. Lotor merely laughed in response, attempting to press her more firmly against him. He didn’t seem to care that he was squishing his erection between their bodies, the prince giving her the faintest of smiles. Allura was torn between holding still and wiggling away, realizing that either option would give Lotor some pleasure.

“Let me go.” She finally said, hands still pushing at his chest. He wasn’t dissuaded, burying his nose into her hair as he inhaled deeply. Pretty soon he was nuzzling his face against the top of her head, reminding her of a scent marking cat. “Lotor, I mean it…let me go!”

“Not yet.” He crooned softly, pressing kisses into her hair. He was starting to move his hips, thrusting against her belly. She let out a cry of revulsion, but knew this as
infinitely better than him thrusting inside her. And yet Allura worried, knowing every act brought him one step closer to taking her completely. He might be satisfied to rub against her now, but what about in an hour’s time?

“No, now!” Allura tried not to let the panic into her voice, feigning exasperation. He continued moving against her, his breath coming out in excited rasps. She tilted her head up, catching the dreamy look to his eyes. He was totally into this act, completely ignoring her dislike in the process. She grit her teeth together, now more than ever tempted to slap him.

The thought that nothing was holding her back from doing just that galvanized her. Allura’s arm went swinging forward, her hand intent on catching Lotor in the face. He had the innate sense of a trained soldier, the prince not missing a beat as he caught her hand in his. He didn’t even look mad at what she had tried, Lotor kissing the palm of Allura’s hand before taking it, and her other one prisoner.

Allura found herself on her back, her arms stretched up so that her hands were pinned in place over her head. Lotor loomed over her, the look in his eyes terrifying for it was lust personified, and focused solely on her.

“Lotor, don’t…” She whispered, her voice cracking in her fear. Did she get through to him? She wasn’t sure, keeping her legs firmly closed. But he made no effort to nudge them apart, instead laying down on top of her as he continued to grind his erection over her belly. That hard length of him was incredibly warm, and pulsing with life. It twitched and it throbbed, the prince staring at her with unwavering attention as he thrust against her belly.

Allura supposed she should be relieved he wasn’t trying for between her legs. But at the moment she didn’t feel as though she had much to be grateful about. Especially with Lotor over her, his voice a constant groan. Just how long did he intend to continue this infuriating action of his? She struggled again, trying to get her hands free. It made his eyes seem to cross, Lotor letting out a low moan. From the looks of things her struggles were only exciting him, and it wouldn’t take much more to get him to release all over her.

She tried not to panic any further. Really she did. But the last thing Allura wanted was for Lotor to come all over her. As violated as she had been, it would feel a million times worse to be used in that manner. Her breath came out shaky, Allura not sure what she was prepared to say. Her words started to come out strangled, and then Lotor let out a low, guttural moan.

Instantly a rush of hot liquid spurted all over her breasts and her belly. Allura shrieked as though she had been shot, her arms straining to get free. Lotor did a few more hard thrusts against her, more liquid jetting out of him and onto her. She was absolutely shaking in horror, not able to believe she had been so defiled.

Lotor continued to hold her down, his eyes seeming glazed over. He didn’t look to be aware of the torment he had put her through, Allura blinking back indignant tears. Lotor made a sound, as though he was purring. A lazy, self indulgent smile was on his lips, the Drule Prince bending to nuzzle his lips over the crook of her shoulder. She didn’t want his kisses, nor did she want the gratitude that followed.

“Thank you, Allura.” She heard him murmur into her skin. Allura seethed with rage, thinking he had no right to thank her for something she hadn’t wanted to give!

“GET OFF ME!” Allura growled, flailing her arms as best she could given that she was trapped. He abruptly pulled back to look at her, noting how livid with anger she looked. “Get off me!” She repeated, noting he seemed to be considering what would happen once she was free.

But what else could he do? They couldn’t remain this way indefinitely. And Allura was sure the longer he held her down, the further her anger would develop. With a moody sigh, Lotor released her hands. And with it, she slapped him. It seemed Lotor’s climax had made him lethargic and slow, the prince making a grab for her slapping hand a second too late.

“How could you?!” She demanded, angry and tearful at the same time. She could feel the stickiness of his release on her, and shuddered in revulsion. Allura began hitting him in earnest, beating her fists against his chest.

“I am only a man!” He told her, Lotor grabbing her arms and giving her a shake. “I have needs!”

“Then go find one of your whores, and use them in this way!” Allura snarled.

He looked like he was carefully considering what to say to that, Allura struggling to get free so she could hit him again. “I don’t want anyone else….” He said at last.

“That is supposed to make me feel better?” She scoffed at his nod. “It doesn’t. Get off me.”

“Only if you’ll be calm.”

“I won’t be able to calm down so long as…so long as I have this filth on me!” Allura retorted. Lotor actually looked insulted that she had used that word to describe his semen, but he let go of her all the same. She quickly scooted out from under him, finding her legs were shaky when she got off the bed.

“Allura…” He sounded concerned, but she didn’t turn back to him. Instead she fled as quickly as she could to the bathroom, throwing his robe on the floor. She was frantic to get cleaned, practically jumping into the large tub and turning the water on to a near scalding heat. Allura was vigorous as she began scrubbing her breasts and her belly clean. It wasn’t the only place she felt dirty, Allura remembering how he had touched her during the night.

She’d do a thorough cleansing, her skin turning red from how hot she had let the water run. The bathroom mirror was fogging up from the steam. She’d stare in shock at her reflection once clean, seeing the marks around her neck. It looked like he had given her a necklace of hickeys, and she fumed at his daring even as she turned fearful. Just how many liberties had he taken while she slept? And what would Lotor have done to her if she hadn’t woken up when she did?

Now more than ever she was determined to escape, though she didn’t have the slightest idea of how to manage that. But Allura refused to think it was completely
hopeless. She’d truly break down if she gave up on the hope of ever getting away from Lotor if that was the case.

Hardly calm, she retrieved the robe from the bathroom floor. She regretted the way she had discarded it, grateful it hadn’t gotten wet. The way Lotor was acting, this robe would be her only clothing for a while yet to come. Allura had to take good care of it.

She pulled it on, and made sure to double knot the belt this time. The sleeves were too long, Allura having to roll them up to what would be the elbows on a man of Lotor’s height. The hem fell down past her knees, and the material was the softest terry cloth she had ever felt on her skin. But even the finest robe would pale in comparison to real clothing, Allura sighing as she walked out of the bathroom.

Lotor wasn’t completely dressed, though he had put on a pair of loose fitting trousers. They hung indecently low on his hips, Allura trying not to notice the way they revealed the white treasure trail of hair on his lower half. But Allura was sure she blushed, even as she glared at him.

“Would it help if I said I was sorry?” Lotor asked her.

An indifferent shrug. “Maybe if I could believe you meant it.” From his lack of response, Allura ascertained he wasn’t really sorry for what he had done. No, he was practically reeking satisfaction! She fumed as she stalked deeper into the bedroom, noting a new cart of food had been brought in. She lifted her eyebrow at it, her tone snide. “What is it this time? What drug will you give me now?”

“No drug.” Lotor told her. “It’s only breakfast.”

“You’ll not be surprised if I don’t believe you.” Allura told him. He gestured for her to come sit down, but Allura merely crossed her arms over her chest. He sighed before walking towards her. She refused to back up, though Allura did start blushing in response to his nearness. And all because she flashed back to the moment in his bed, when he had pinned her in place, with that frightening expression of desire focused on her.

“Allura…” He took her by the hand, and led her over to the table. “The food has not been tampered with.” He picked up an already sliced piece of fruit, and began to eat it. “Do you think I would eat if there was some drug lacing the food?”

“I don’t know…maybe if it was a relatively harmless drug…” Allura muttered. He took a different fruit, and began eating that. She gave him a shrewd look, tone snide. “I hope thiopental is in that. The truth might do you some good.”

“I always try to be truthful around you.” He retorted and forced her down into the seat. He sat down next to her, continuing to bite into the fruit he held. “Allura, you can’t go on starving yourself. You have the baby to think of.”

She grumbled an inaudible sentence, hating that he would use the baby as a reason to get her to do what he wanted. Even if that want was nothing more troublesome than eating a potentially drugged meal. Even worse, her stomach WAS hungry. She hadn’t retained the dinner she had had the night before, Allura throwing up most it in an effort to expel the drug he had tricker her into eating.

Allura eyed him as he ate, inwardly sighing. He was right. She couldn’t go indefinitely without eating, especially not with the child to consider. With a grumble she selected a fruit at random, not trusting Lotor to pick one out for her. For a while they ate in silence, Allura trying to ignore Lotor as he stared at her. She wondered if he would ever get tired of looking at her, Allura feeling her cheeks burn from the intense way he fixated on her profile.

“Last night was interesting.” Lotor broke the silence. She made a rude sound.

“Interesting doesn’t begin to cover it.”

“True.” He agreed. “But I meant in regard to the things we spoke about. It was a night of revelations….”

“Hmm…” Juicy sensation exploded in her mouth, the fruit ripe and tangy.

“For one thing, I am almost positive you haven’t had sex in quite some time.” Allura immediately choked on the orange, Lotor reaching over concerned to rub her back. When she recovered, she gave him a sour look, loathing coating her words.

“And you could tell all that just from shoving your fingers inside me?!”

“Well, yes.” Thankfully he didn’t smirk at her. “I know women’s bodies. I am intimately familiar with how they feel. Yours feels practically untried…if I hadn’t deflowered you back on Arus, I would have sworn you were still a virgin.”

“We already know I’m not….”

“Ah, but what we…I, don’t know is…just what you’ve been up to since we parted ways.”

“You already know.” Allura interrupted him. “I took a lover, and I spent months keeping my pregnancy a secret from everyone.”

“Ah, but here’s the thing. There is a…strangeness to your claims. A certain wrongness that has me doubt the validity of some of what you tell me.” Lotor had her
frowning, unease prickling through her.

“I already told you…..that is, what more do you need to hear?!” Allura demanded.

“A name would be a good start.”

“You know why I won’t reveal my lover’s name!” Allura exclaimed.

“If he even exist….”

“What do you mean if?” interrupted Allura.

“If he exists.” Continued Lotor as though she hadn’t spoken. “Keeping his name from me won’t spare him. I will find this mystery lover of yours and kill him.”

“Monster!” Spat Allura.

“However, I don’t believe he’s even real.” Lotor ignored her insult. “It’s your own fault really Allura”

“My fault!?” She gasped in disbelief.

“Your story doesn’t add up. There’s too much to consider that’s strange.” He leaned forward, steepling his fingers together. His eyes were intent on hers, Allura fighting not to crush the orange in her hand. “There’s the timing for one thing. You had to take a lover almost immediately after me. And somehow I don’t see you as being so careless as to not insist this new lover take preventative measures against making a baby.”

He held up a hand to stop her reply. “Now you could lie and say you wanted to make a baby, but I know you’re not that irresponsible. You know how it would look for the princess of Arus to be an unwed mother. Which brings me to my second point. If in fact there is another lover, why have you not pushed him to marry you? To legitimatize this pregnancy and save your honor? Hmmm?”

“Maybe it’s cause I am trying to protect him from you!” Allura retorted.

“Protect who from me? This mystery man or the baby?” he smirked. “Allura, I’ve noticed many of your answers have been carefully worded. You didn’t outright give me the truth, but you chose to answer in a way that I could misinterpret. Ah, no matter. Point number three, you admitted to a moment where you feared I was the father of your baby. You’ve never once told me how you obtained solid proof that I am out of the running as a candidate for it’s sire.”

She opened then closed her mouth, realizing he was right. She hadn’t come up with a story to explain how she knew for certain he wasn’t her baby’s father. Lotor smiled at her, as though he took her silence to be acceptance of what he said.

“We’ll get solid proof soon enough.”

“Because you’re taking me somewhere to be tested?” Allura was bitter as she asked that.

“Yes. I’m almost certain what the test will reveal.”

“Then why even bother?” She demanded.

“Because I have to be certain. And not just me. My father will want the proof, the entire Doom Empire will want to be certain it is my child you carry.”

“So they can take Arus?”

“Arus has ceased to be important. At least for now.” He corrected at her disbelieving look. “You carry what is the future of the Empire, my chid, a future ruler of the Drule.”

“My child will never be part of your Empire!” Allura leaped to her feet. Lotor lurched upright a moment later. “I will never let you and your father mold him or her into an unfeeling monster!”

“You’ve yet to acknowledge I feel too much? Especially where you’re concerned?!” He was annoyed now. “Allura. If I didn’t care, it would be easy to discard you, and this child you carry. To believe your lies and forget all about my plans for us.”

“I am not lying!”

“Aren’t you?” He challenged. “I’ll tell you another part of the puzzle that doesn’t fit. Your friends reaction to your pregnancy. They didn’t want you to keep the baby. Why would they turn their back on the child unless it was sired by someone they hated?! Why would you fear telling them about your condition, unless the baby is mine?!”

“You have a big ego to think this is all about you!” Allura was shaking, throwing the orange at him. It thumped against his chest, then landed on the floor. “I had my reasons for keeping quiet…you were the least of my concerns!”

“Then tell me what those reasons were!” Lotor snapped. She was silent, and he sighed. “You can’t, can you? It’s because you haven’t thought up a believable story regarding them.” He tsked then. “Allura, you can keep lying to me, but in a few day’s time the truth will come out. And there’s nothing you can do to stop it!”

Unbidden, her eyes grew wet with tears. She did her best to blink them away, staring at him horrified. And then she let out a sound, turning on her heel. Allura heard Lotor shout her name, but she didn’t pause. She ran into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut. Some miracle let her lock it before he could come inside. And no matter how much he banged on the door, and shouted at her, she refused to even acknowledge him, Allura sinking down to her knees with a moan. What was she going to do when he found out for sure he was the father? He’d never let her go, he’d chase her to the ends of the galaxy if he had to. And not just her, but the baby as well! The thought made her start to cry, Allura shaking as she crouched on the floor. Things were rapidly going from bad to worse, and she didn’t know how to stop it!

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