His fingers were digging into my arm, merciful and cruel, exerting none of the tenderness I would expect from one who professed to love me so. His grip was strong, more sure than even steel, reminding me of how inescapable my fate was. I could no more escape it then I could him, and even my stumbling steps didn’t cause him to slow, Lotor dragging me forcefully down a narrow corridor.
When I wasn’t trying to keep from falling, my legs unable to keep up with his hurried pace, I fought him. Twisting as much as I could, trying to land blows on the arm connected to the hand that gripped me so securely. My fists rebounded again and again on his arm, and all he did was merely grunt, not even pausing to reprimand me. That I couldn’t get him to react worried me, he wasn’t even looking at me, golden gaze straight ahead, towards the single door at the end of this corridor.
That door was unlocked and waiting for our arrival, it banged into the wall, a metallic clang that seemed to echo forever and a day. I would have cringed at the sound, and the sight of the room, but there wasn’t time, Lotor was throwing me to the floor. The stones were cold and hard, it hurt when I landed on my side, leaving me dazed and confused. And then the door was slamming shut behind him, Lotor taking a step towards me.
“This will be your room from now on.” What was that note in his voice, I couldn’t read his emotions, and I lifted my head, looking not at him but the room. I couldn’t help from gasping, seeing it was little more than a prison cell, with very few luxuries afforded to it. A bed was in the corner, it’ sheets plain and white, and I didn’t fail to notice there was manacles attached to it’s headboard.
There was a table and two chairs, empty for the moment. A door to the right of them led into what was a simple bathroom, just a toilet, sink and shower. It wouldn’t register with me then, but later I would be grateful that my prison had been given such niceties. But for now all I could focus on was the starkness of the room. the cold, impersonal touch of it’s surroundings. This was like nothing I had ever been exposed to before, it lacked the usual flair for extravagance that Lotor usually dedicated to me.
He let me look my fill of our surroundings, Lotor standing there tall and imposing in his black uniform that was rimmed with red. I was dressed in my pilot’s uniform, it’s white and pink colors a contrast of light to his darkness. Somewhere during my capture my helmet had been taken from me, but I couldn’t focus on that now.
Instead I drew up, sitting on my knees as I stared up at him. His expression was stern, eyes unreadable as he gazed down at me. He was waiting for my reaction, waiting to see how I would handle this change in surroundings. I drew on my inner strength, raising my head in a haughty manner as I locked eyes with him. It was a false bravery, and we both knew it.
“This is some way to treat me!” I snapped out loud, glaring at him. “If you think to ever stand a chance of winning my love….”
“It’s not about winning your love.” Lotor interjected, and I couldn’t stop the rapid blink of my eyes at that. “It’s about protecting your life.”
“My life?” I was confused, his words had thrown me, sealing away any haughty self righteousness I had felt.
“You’ve been causing Doom a lot of trouble, even more so than usual.” He remained unmoving, hands by his side, tense for any action from me. His face was dispassionate as he talked, Lotor mouth neither smiling nor frowning. “I’ve been given orders…”
“Don’t interrupt.” He retorted in that same, unfeeling way. “Too many other worlds are following in Arus’ footsteps, causing unrest in the Doom Empire. You’ve become a symbol Allura, one that goads others on to resist their betters.” I wanted to shout that the Drules were not superior to any other race, but at the parting of my lips, he knelt, a finger pressed to my mouth for silence. “My father wants that symbol snuffed out…”
My eyes widened then, I was sure I began to tremble. His finger fell away from my lips, and I nervously licked them, his eyes not missing that movement. “So what else is new?” I tried to be flippant, but I was scared. “He’s always wanted me dead….”
“He’s never been as serious about your death as he is now.” Lotor retorted, and my shaking increase at his following words. “He’s put a sizable bounty on your head…one so rich that even other humans will come gunning for you…”
“The…the Voltron force….”
“Cannot protect you.” He finished for me. “Now more than ever your only chance is with me.”
“I…I won’t marry you!” I was sure that marriage would be his condition for doing this, and it would kill me in a different way to be tied to him. For with my submission would come Arus’ conquest, my people dead or enslaved. I couldn’t allow that. “I won’t be yours, not even to save my own life.”
I expected him to call me a fool, instead he just gave me a bitter smile. “Not even our marriage could save you now from my father’s wrath.” My eyes widened at that, surely things hadn’t become that bad. “This…” Lotor gave an offhanded gesture to our surroundings. “This is the only thing I can offer you now…”
“Where are we?”
“It doesn’t matter. You won’t be found.” He was so sure of that too, and it made me shiver to think only Lotor would know where I was.
“How long do I have to stay here?” I asked, my voice sounding so small and unsure.
“I don’t know.” He admitted. “Until my father is dead you’ll never be safe….”
I started to cry then, thinking this room might be my grave. Zarkon was over a thousand years old, it was no small thing to think he could easily outlive my short human life span. I despaired in the moment, thinking how Lotor would probably be the last face I’d ever see, thick tears rolling down my cheeks. The sight of them broke something in the prince, Lotor was pulling me against him. I made a protesting sound, finding he was fitting himself between my spread knees, and not even the fact that we were both clothed could chase away my unease.
Crying harder, I tried to push myself out of his embrace, but his arms were locked around me, his face rubbing against the side of mine, his one hand on the back of my hair. Vaguely I was aware he was making soothing sounds, trying to calm me, but I was inconsolable in the moment.
“Allura, forgive me…” He said at last, rubbing his cheek against mine. I couldn’t see his face from this angle, just aware of the warmth of his skin. I always thought the Drule should be cold blooded, to match the evilness of their hearts, but Lotor was so warm, and full of life and vitality. “It’s selfish of me, but I’m a little glad…”
“Glad? What…” I frowned, trying to twist away enough to see his face, but he kept me facing forward.
“Glad that I get to be with you, that I get to spend time with you.” Lotor was saying. Somehow he was pressing me back against the floor, and I fought to remain upright. His groin pressed insistently against mine, I didn’t like that touch at all. “I’m glad I get this chance to protect you…”
“I could do without your protection!” I snapped, shoving at his chest. It was like trying to move a wall of rock, so solid and frozen in place was he. “Let me go Lotor…” He didn’t ask what I meant by that, he was neither willing to release me from his embrace or this room. “Damn it, I mean it!” I snapped, shoving harder. Did I even gain an inch for my struggles? No, and it seemed he LIKED my squirming, Lotor doing a grinding against my crotch. “Keith and the others will come for me…..they’ll be the ones to protect me…”
“You’re a fool if you believe that!” Lotor retorted, and I all but growled at him.
“You vastly underestimate them and me, if you think we can’t deal with this latest threat from your father!” He had pulled back to glare at me, but his hands were still gripping my arms, his crotch pressed against mine. “Good will always win!” I continue. “We would find a way to stop him.”
“Not with the amount of money he’s offering for your death!” He retorted, and I sneered.
“I’ve dealt with assassins before. I survived…” His eyes flashed, and he was suddenly pushing me back down to the floor, ignoring the way I struggled and flailed against him. “Damn you, let go of me! Get off! Get off!”
“You think you could win without me, Allura?!” Lotor demanded, and his struggles seemed effortless as he pinned each wrist to the cold, stone floor. “You can’t even win against a single man…” He was glaring at me then, easily sitting on top of me. I was winded, and breathing hard just from that little effort, but Lotor hardly seemed bothered by what had just happened. “How do you ever hope to win against an army of bounty hunters and assassins?!”
After that, no matter how much I threatened him, shouted, screamed and begged, all Lotor would do was shake his head. I found myself being stripped of my clothing, my pilot’s uniform being carefully ripped apart by his claws. Even then I realized he was doing this partly to prove a point, to show how helpless I am. With him, and with any other man, though I am not deluded to think that part of his motivation had to do with the heat that sparked in his eyes whenever he looked at me.
That heat is what drove him to rape me, Lotor taking me right there on the floor. He didn’t even care to move to the bed, flipping me onto my stomach as his hands ran all over my body. I screamed constantly while he touched me, my mantra repeated over and over. “Let go! Let go of me!” But he never heeded those words, instead kissing at the nape of my neck, biting down on the skin there.
I bucked even wilder at that bite, trying to throw him off me before he could penetrate me. I did not want him to steal anything more from me, and yet he was right. I was powerless to succeed in struggling against even one man.
Even worse was his attempts at kindness, Lotor murmuring apologies as he stole my virginity. “I’m sorry…Allura, forgive me…” And yet his hands were over mine, covering them as well as pinning them to the floor, his body pounding into me from behind. I felt the last of my strength give, the pain had stolen a lot of my fight away. I buried my head against the floor, and only one muffled phrase could be heard from me.
It wouldn’t be the last time he would force himself on me, once he had tasted my body, it seemed Lotor couldn’t get enough. He’d visit me, as often as he dared, the prince not wanting to run the risk of being followed to this prison of mine. I found myself with nothing to do, not even a window to gaze out of, and only my thoughts bouncing around in my head.
I found myself yearning for something, anything to do. Anything to stop the rattling worries in my head. I wished he’d be so kind as to get me a book, I wanted to read, to escape from the reality of my situation even for just a little bit. I had no contact with anyone except for this one lady, some slave who had been beaten to the point she had broken. She never said a word to me, just delivered my meals and changed the bed sheets.
When pleading and reasoning with her showed no results, I tried to overpower her. I quickly learned the folly of that, when she zapped me in the stomach with a taser. It dropped me to the floor, laying there stunned for hours before it’s effect wore off. When she left me without new meals for two whole days, I learned my lesson, I would not attack her again. Not if I didn’t want the meals to stop completely.
Even now I sit here, shivering. I don’t know how long it’s been since I was brought here, there’s no way to tell the progress of days. I’m cold, the thin blankets are hardly adequate warmth. My thoughts are bouncing all over the place, but they keep replaying the days of my imprisonment. It’s enough to make me let out a bitter laugh, I realize how pathetic I am in the moment. Because of a few anxiety ridden thoughts, I’m closer to ever than breaking, and I hate Lotor for that.
So cold…I know he’d warm me up in an instant if he were to visit. One thing Lotor always is, is hot, his mouth searing warmth that chases away any cold I feel. “Hurry…” I hear myself whispering on a different day. “Hurry and come warm me up.”
Lotor appears soon after, the time is so blurred to me, I imagine he showed up just after I whispered that plea. He is quick to remove his clothing, climbing on top of me. I wear nothing but an oversized shirt of his, and I’m shivering violently beneath him. I’m so cold, and starved for contact with another that I welcome his touches and kisses, sighing sweetly as he unbuttons the front of the shirt.
The sheets will get messy again, he’s spending himself into me, my body draining every last drop of come from his cock. I’ve stopped worrying that he’ll get me pregnant, I only care that for this brief instant he’s chasing away the cold. I cling to Lotor, desperate to keep him on me, and inside me. “Don’t go.” I beg, tightening my arms around him. “Stay just a little while longer…”
“You know I can’t.” He answers, Lotor nuzzling a kiss on the front of my throat. “He’ll be suspicious if I’m gone too long.”
“Is he any closer to dying?!” I asked, and nearly sob when he shakes his head no.
Another time he is here, washing me gently with a wash cloth. He’s focused on what he’s doing, but it’s all a pretense to ignore my words. I’m begging him again, sweetly trying to entice him to let me out of this room.
“I don’t like it here.” I tell him, but he’s not even looking at me. “If you’re not around me, I can’t hear a thing, can’t feel the connection of another living soul. I know it’s pathetic, but I’m about to go crazy…”
“Just have a little more patience Allura…” He answers after a long pause. “Zarkon will die, and then I will be able to take you out of this room. I’ll show you the galaxy, and all that you’ve been missing…”
“I’m already forgetting what Arus looked like…” I tell him, frustrated tears coming to my eyes. “I don’t think I can last any longer. You must have noticed it….I’m acting weird, I’m breaking down. Lotor, notice it already! I’m going crazy here…I can’t stay here any longer…” I’m openly crying now, leaning forward to hug his kneeling form. I sniffle and cry out his name, already so broken.
“Lotor…Lotor please. I beg of you.” I say, my hands trembling on his back. “This place scares me. Please…”
He lets me go on for quite a while, before pulling away. But he takes my hand in his, and smiles up at me. “Then…all you have to do is think of me.” He tells me. “Think of me whenever you’re feeling scared, and the feelings will go away.” He’s gripping both hands now, staring so intently at me. I almost want to believe his words, as if the fear can be chased away by such a simple act.
Thinking of him is all I do, doesn’t he realize that now? There’s nothing else to do in this place, but think. Think and wait for his next visit. It’s been too long since he last held me, I’m growing more insane the longer we are apart. When the cell door opens, I am already flinging myself off the bed, charging towards him. I lunged into his waiting arms without taking a good look at him, and it’s only his grunt that betrays the hurt he is feeling.
I look up and gasp, seeing the bandage slapped into place on his left cheek. There is a smaller cut above his right eye, it hasn’t even had time to scab over yet. What other wounds are his clothing hiding? I immediately set to stripping off his tunic, finding more bandages wound about his body. There’s more wounds here than the last time I saw him, and I tell him as much.
“You think so Allura?” asks Lotor, and I nod. “You’re just imagining it.”
He hugs me then to distract me, but I know what I’ve seen. He’s been getting into dangerous situations, fighting with who I do not know. Is it Zarkon, or is the Voltron Force? It could even be those bounty hunters, but Lotor will never answer my questions about his injuries. He’s quick to distract me from my fears with his body, and I’m so eager for him I don’t object. But the fear lingers in my mind, even as he makes love to me.
He leaves almost immediately after, with murmured apologies and a kiss on my cheek. I’m desperate to keep him here, the time between his visits are getting longer and longer, and his injuries more and more extensive. I fear there will come a time when he won’t be able to come visit me, and I desperately want him to take me with him. But always, Zarkon’s threat lingers, Lotor refusing to take me away from the only safe place he knows.
I’d see him only one more time, and then his body would bear even more injuries. He’d make love almost desperately to me, and I’d echoed that franticness. I can sense by his mood something is about to change, something that will affect us both, but I had no way of knowing what. The visits would stop completely, the old slave continuing to bring me meals and change my sheets. I was left to drown in despair, and it wasn’t the first time I thought of how broken I had become, so dependent on Lotor, and looking forward to any scrap of attention he would give me.
When that door finally opens, I am lunging off my feet, excited beyond belief. I expect it to be the slave, but something in the air, some excited energy led me to believe it would be Lotor. It’s not, but the face I see has me gasping all the same, I stare with dumbfounded disbelief at Keith. He’s smiling, looking close to tears, and saying something about how after months and months of searching he’s finally found me.
I’m ushered out of the room, and into the forest outside what is a tower. I get my first taste of fresh air in what has been months, and the sun is too bright for my eyes. I am numb, but not so without feeling to not ask what happened to Lotor and Zarkon. Keith is hesitant to answer my questions, saying I’ve just been through an ordeal. That it’s better to wait until I’ve recovered.
I turn and grab him by the collar of his uniform. Thankfully he doesn’t try to struggle, because I am too weak to be threatening. “Tell me!” I insist, and he does. I learn to my horror Lotor is dead, his father struck a killing blow just before Lotor ended his miserable life. That was Lotor’s last gift to me, destroying his father, and with it the bounty on my head. With Zarkon gone there’s no one willing to pay such an amount for my life, but I can’t really care about that. All I know is that Lotor is dead, and with him a piece of my soul. The months spent in that room has done what no one thought is possible, breaking me down until all I had left was that love for him, twisted as it was.