It was the third time he had passed by the door that would grant him entrance to Allura’s apartment. The third time he had stopped and paused, gazing in consideration at it. The guards that accompanied him everywhere these days said nothing about his behavior, wisely keeping any hint of amusement or impatience to themselves as they stood lined up against the far wall.
Lotor kept most of his agitation locked inwards, hiding his annoyance that these men bore witness to his indecision. He knew that most likely talk would carry throughout the castle, the people privately whispering about Lotor’s latest oddity towards his former slave. It annoyed him, but he knew there was little he could do, save killing any who bore witness to these private moments with Allura.
Not that there were many these days, the weeks passing by without much to comment on. Lotor had been king now for several weeks, Allura entering her fifth month of pregnancy, the distance widening between them since the night of the coronation. It was almost insurmountable, leaving Lotor at a lost for what to do next with Allura. They spent much of their days avoiding each other, Allura always off on some lesson with Haggar. Lotor himself kept busy with affairs of the court, and running the large empire of Doom.
If he let it, the problems of the Empire would consume all of his time, leaving him with little chance to see Allura. And as annoyed with her as he had been, he knew things couldn’t continue in this fashion. Not if he wanted to convince her to stay with him in the time he had left with her. So he had cleared his schedule of all work, his aides being most unhappy with the news that their king was not to be disturbed under any and all circumstances.
The court was left to make do with each other, leaving their concerns in the capable hands of his aides. Lotor knew he would pay the price in paperwork, but right now he didn’t care, far too busy trying to steel his nerves to confront Allura. And it would indeed be a confrontation, Lotor intending to bare everything on the line as he worked with her to get her over her fears of him.
~We’ll make this work.~ Lotor swore silently, moving closer to her door. ~By the Gods, together we will overcome all obstacles to our relationship!~ Feeling as though he was blazing with determination, Lotor unlocked the door, stepping through it to enter the room. The outer chamber was empty, Allura not yet having returned from her latest lesson with Haggar.
Neither Allura nor the witch knew about Lotor’s latest plan, the King wondering if he should have discussed it with someone first. But he didn’t want doubts cast on what he intended to do, didn’t want a single moment of hesitation to sway his hand. It wasn’t what Allura needed, and it certainly wasn’t what he needed, Lotor knowing it would take a strong hand to guide them through today’s conflict.
He wanted to be that pillar of strength for her, Lotor knowing that for once he couldn’t, wouldn’t leave when their talk became emotionally nasty. Allura had things she needed to say to him, words that had to be voiced if they were ever going to move on beyond the rape. He had things to say to her too, questions he needed answers for, things he wondered if Allura could even explain to herself let alone him.
It was those questions that moved him across the room, Lotor approaching a medium sized bundle that lay on top of the dining table. Besides it were several platters of fruit, Lotor plucking a grape from a vine as he stared down at the cloth wrapped package. He touched it with a finger, hearing the rattle of chains and nodded to himself. It was as he had ordered, the King taking another grape in his mouth.
Again that brief flicker of hesitation surged through him, Lotor wondering if he was pushing too soon, and for too much with Allura. But something had to be done, something drastic or else he’d lose her forever. He poured himself a glass of the berry cider Allura so favored, knowing he needed a clear head for what was to happen. He couldn’t be intoxicated for this, couldn’t let Allura think he was doing something in a moment of drunken foolishness.
Glass in hand, he picked up the bundle and walked into the bedroom, setting his package down on the mattress. He took another sip of his glass, than was setting it down on the night stand, Lotor unbuckling his belt so that his tunic loosened. He carefully set his sword belt down on the floor, making sure to hide it under the bed so that it would be out of sight and out of mind.
Once hidden, he turned his attention to his clothes, reaching for the collar of his tunic. Upwards did he tug the garment, letting it pull free of his head and his arms, leaving him bare chested to the room. He left his pants and boots on though, retrieving his glass as he perched on the edge of the bed. It was like this that Allura found him, Lotor projecting an outward calm as he drank down the cider. He knew she wasn’t that surprised to see him, the line up of guards in the hallway had to have given her some hint of his presence inside her apartment.
“Lotor…” She said his name softly, Allura clutching a book against her chest like it was her shield against him. He didn’t like the way her body immediately hunched into itself, the girl unable to control the reaction she was having to him.
“Allura.” He nodded his hello to her, finishing off his glass of cider, conscious of the way she looked at him. Allura’s eyes raked over him, noting his half dressed state, a worried look entering her eyes. “It’s been a while.”
“Yes…it has.” She agreed, making no move to come closer to him.
“It’s my fault entirely.” Lotor said, seeing her blink surprised at his admittance. “I’ve been busy with work…the running of an empire leaves much to be desired when it comes to pleasure and the time needed to pursue it.”
“Pleasure?” Allura seemed to fixate on that word, her tone suspicious. He knew what that word made her think of, Lotor taking his time in answering.
“It’s a pleasure to be with you. To spend time with you. I’ve missed our dinners Allura…I’ve missed our talks, hell I even miss our arguments.”
“I…I see.” Her voice was a faint reply, Allura still standing in the threshold of the doorway. “If it’s dinner you missed, I can call down to the kitchen for a meal to be sent up.” She was already turning, intent on fleeing into the outer chamber.
“No.” Lotor’s voice stopped her in her tracks, the king watching her widen her eyes. “Dinner can wait.”
“It can?” To that he was nodding, Lotor rising up off the bed. She took a step backwards as though she couldn’t help herself, her arms tightening around her book. She looked very much like a frightened animal, poised on the verge of flight.
“I’m making you nervous.” He noted grimly.
“A little.” Allura acknowledged, head nodding slightly. “You seem in a very strange mood today.”
“It’s not strange…it’s determined.”
“Determined?” She echoed with a frown, and this time it was Lotor’s turn to nod.
“Yes.” Steps cautious, he walked towards her, trying to keep from making any sudden moves that would frighten her any further. Allura watched him, and though she continued to frown, at least she did not back away from him. “I…I want to help you Allura.”
“Help me?” Her brows drew together, Allura confused at that. “Help me how?”
“With everything…” Lotor said, and he reached for her, his actions gentle but insistent as he pulled the book out of her hands’ hold. “With your emotions, your responses, your thoughts on us….I want to help you get over what’s happened between us…help you to be able to move on so that we can forge a new relationship together. A healthy one.”
She stared at him, and her blues eyes reflected her thoughts, showing how absurd she found his words. “I don’t think you can….”
“So quick to doubt me.” He didn’t quite chuckle at that, Lotor setting the book under his arm. “I know it won’t be easy. We have to put the work in if we ever want to have this fixed. And I do mean we. Both of us has to try. Can you do that for me–for us Allura?”
“I…I don’t know.” He was taking hold of her hand, tugging on her resisting body. “It depends on what you’re going to ask me to do…”
“Nothing that will hurt…” Lotor promised, looking over his shoulder at her. He wanted to smile at her, yet didn’t dare risk it, fearing her reaction. “You may find it even brings you pleasure…”
“There’s that word again…” Allura muttered under her breath, taking reluctant steps after him. It took a few seconds, but they eventually reached the bed, Lotor setting her book down on the night stand. “Do you think pleasure solves everything?”
He turned to face her, letting her see the seriousness in his eyes as he gave careful consideration to her question. “Once.” He conceded. “Once I did. It’s been quite a lesson in learning otherwise. Can’t say I’ve enjoyed it, but it’s a lesson I am taking to heart these days.” He was still holding onto her hand, Lotor starting to slide his up along her arm. Allura blinked but otherwise had no reaction, tolerating his gliding touch.
“Some days you won’t even let me do this much.” He said, his hand reaching her shoulder. “Some days it’s all we can manage to be in the same room together. Why is that Allura?”
“It’s difficult to explain.” She said, making no move to escape him as he began playing with some of the curls by her neck. “My emotions are funny in this way, feelings changing, allowing me to manage more with you. Some days…I almost forget myself…forget what you’ve done, and want…”
“Want what?” Lotor questioned when Allura fell silent.
“It’s nothing.” She said, lowering her eyes to the bed. A curious light came to her eyes, her gaze having landed on the wrapped bundle that laid on the mattress. She didn’t ask what it was, what it’s presence in the room meant, Allura simply letting it be.
“I think it’s important.” Lotor said to her, hands reaching for the bundle. “Wants…it plays into desires and needs…It’s important to address them all.” His fingers easily broke the straps that held the cloth tight around the bundle, Lotor allowing the cloth to tumble free. It left the silver chains revealed to the room, Allura letting out a startled gasp as though she could not help her reaction.
“Chains…?” Her tone was flat, all undercurrents of emotion gone from her voice. But she had paled, blue eyes looking frightened as she stared at the chains draping across his hands. “You’re going to tie me up….” Allura said it with such certainty, not giving him a chance to respond. “NO! I won’t let you!” She jerked away from him, intent on fleeing, though where she intended to hide from him, Lotor did not know.
The chains hit the bed with as much noise as possible, silver metal clanking against one another. He didn’t even look their way, too busy running after Allura, his long legs allowing him to easily catch up with her before she got further than the center of the outer chamber. Lotor’s arms came around Allura from behind, the king feeling the girl began to thrash about, her panic making her movements no less violent.
“Let me go!” She cried out, and Lotor was grateful that the apartment was sound proofed. The last thing he wanted was another scene between them to be broadcast to the guards. “I said let me go! I won’t let you do it! I won’t let you chain me!”
“Allura no!” Lotor exclaimed, twisting her about so that she faced him. His hands gripped her upper arms, giving her a little shake as he tried to get Allura to look at him. “Those chains aren’t to tie you down! They’re to tie ME down!”
It took a few repeatings for his words to register with her, Allura slowly ceasing her frantic movements. “What?” She whispered, staring at him wide eyed.
“It’s true.” Lotor said, nodding his head. “I want you to tie me down.”
“What, why?” She was staring at him as though he had grown another head, leaving Lotor to feel uncertain about this idea of his.
“You’ve talked about control.” He said at last, cautiously letting one hand releasee it’s grip on her arm. “About how I’ve taken it and choices from you. I thought to give you back that control….”
“By chaining you up?” She wasn’t trying to flee now, just continuing to stare at him.
“Think of it Allura. I’ll…” He swallowed nervously, a bit shaken at what he was offering her. “I’ll be at your complete and utter mercy. You can do anything you want to me. Anything at all.”
“Anything I want?” Allura asked sharply, a shrewd light coming to her eyes. It almost made him nervous to see her look at him like that, but Lotor forced himself to nod. “All right.”
“All right?” He repeated it as a question, surprised at her easy agreement. Allura nodded, and Lotor let go of her other arm, trusting her to follow him when he turned back to the bedroom. It was an eerie kind of silence that accompanied them back to the bed, Lotor reaching for the chains.
“Leave them.” Allura said, and she gestured at the bed. “Lie down.”
He went down without protest, even going so far as to spread out his arms to the sides so that it would be easier for her to reach them. The chains rattled, Allura having picked them up, her fingers doing a nervous dance down the length of one coil. “You’re sure about this?” She asked, and Lotor nodded.
She frowned then, fingers still playing with the coils, every second of delay making Lotor want to sit up and say he had changed his mind. “This won’t give you what you want…” She broke the silence, Allura looking him in the eyes.
“Allura, at this moment, you don’t know what I want.” Lotor told her, and she made a haughty hiss of sound.
” I think I can guess.” The chains clanked, Allura separating one the strips from the gathered bunch. “Sex Lotor. You’re hoping this will lead to sex.”
“Should I be honest?” Lotor said, fighting not to tense up his right arm as Allura began winding the coils around his wrist.
“Go ahead.” None too gently did she pull on the chain, the metal digging into his skin hard enough to leave an imprint. He kept from hissing, knowing better than to protest this treatment.
“Then yes…I do hope we can be close again.” Lotor admitted, watching as Allura secured the chain to the hook in the bed board that was made for this express purpose. “I don’t mean just with sex.” She moved around the bed, coming to tie his right foot with another chain. “Of course sex is a big part of being intimate, but I want it all. I want to give back after all you’ve given me…”
“What I’ve given you?” She looked up from what she was doing, her blue eyes confused.
“Yes. You’ve awakened my heart…given me my soul…” He smiled tenderly at her, seeing her blink her eyes rapidly in surprise. “Let me help you regain that which I took from you…”
She was suddenly jerking hard on his foot’s chain, her face an angry blush. “You’re talking about sexual pleasure…” It was no exaggeration to say her movements were angry, the girl being almost vicious as she wrapped up his foot in silver coils.
“And the trust that comes with that!” Lotor hastily added, holding back a wince from her brutal treatment of his foot. She didn’t answer, walking over to his other foot, chains ready to tie that one down too. “Allura, you once told me you feared you weren’t normal…that you would never be able to have a healthy sexual relationship because of what I did to you. Let me prove to you that you’re wrong about it!”
“And this is normal?” She demanded, her blue eyes sharp with hostility. “Tying someone down to have power over them is a part of a healthy sex life?!”
“It can be!” Lotor retorted. “When both parties are consenting. Allura…” He sighed then, the girl tying his foot to the bed’s base board. “There’s so much more to sex than one party forcing the other…it’s time you learned that.”
“I knew that once.” She admitted, coming towards his head once more. “My parents were a prime example of the kind of relationship I wanted…”
“I can give that to you!”
“Can you really?” Allura demanded.
“Yes. You just have to put your trust in me.” Lotor told her.
“But..by your own reasoning…” She began winding the last chain around his wrist, actions slightly gentler than earlier. “I have to tie you up to trust you.”
“Only for now.” He quickly retorted. “There will come a time when you can trust me even without the chains! But for now, we do it this way. We do it so you can learn to trust me.”
“And what do I do once I have you in my power?” Allura asked, her fingers seeming to hesitate on tightening the coils.
“Whatever you want…” Lotor said, and even he couldn’t keep the nervous feeling from taking root in his stomach. Especially at Allura’s next question, the girl’s stare as sharp as the blade of a knife.
“If you like.” He said, trying to remain stoic.
“Yes.” Lotor replied, pleased his voice remain unaffected by her questions.
“What if I left you?”
He couldn’t quite control the nervous tic in his cheek, Allura zeroing in on the one thing that would really leave him devastated. “If…” Damn him but he was stuttering, knowing his arm was still free. There was still a chance to over power her, to keep her from tying him down. “If you feel that is what you have to do…”
His answer wasn’t what Allura was expecting, her brows drew together, her voice plaintive as she asked him another question. “Why are you doing this?!”
“Because we have to break the impasse that exists between us.” Lotor told her. “We’ll destroy each one another otherwise.”
“The easiest solution is to part.” Allura said, ignoring the stubborn no Lotor issued out. “It is! If you would just let me go, instead of making us torture one another for four more months…..”
“Nothing worth gaining is ever easy.” Lotor replied, trying to make her understand. “Do you really want to give up right now, without every trying to make things work between us?”
She paused so long in her consideration of his question, Lotor feared Allura was simply going to walk away from him. But at last she lowered her eyes, giving a slight shake of her head no. “Good.” Lotor said satisfied. “Now finishing securing my arm.” He noted her hands had started to shake, but the reason why he could not guess. Even with hands that trembled so badly, she managed to tie his arm to the hook, Lotor giving a testing pull on both his arms and legs. They held, and Allura seemed to sag with relief to see the chains doing their job.
But except for that brief show of relief, Allura just stood there, staring at him. Uncertainty was in her eyes, as if the girl did not know what to do with him now that she had him tied. Lotor held back a sigh, and took on a commanding tone. “Come here.”
She reacted to the authority in his voice, moving onto the bed before she could stop herself. Allura ended up kneeling besides him, staring down his chest. He opened his mouth to give her another command, and drew up short when her fingers grazed his hip. It was a voluntary touch on her part, the girl caressing the scar which he had earned from his father’s blade.
He didn’t know what Allura intended by the touch, but to him it felt wonderful, feeling the soft pads of her fingers rubbing along that scarred flesh. Lotor found himself licking his lips, wanting to urge her to touch him some more. He must have made some kind of strangled sound, for she looked up at him, eyes thoughtful as she continued to stroke his hip.
“You really can’t get away?” Her soft, uncertain voice asked. He nodded, and the first real hint of a smile appeared on her face. “And I can do whatever I want to you.” It was no question there, but a confirmation, Allura shifting to crawl upwards on the bed. She didn’t stop until her head was in close proximity to his, Lotor fighting not to raise his and claim a kiss from her.
Allura’s eyes glittered, Lotor wondering if she noticed how he was fighting his impulses. It grew worse when she touched his face, hand cupping his cheek so that he leaned into her touch. Her other hand touched his other cheek, and suddenly the touch went from gentle to firm, Allura holding his head steady as she stared down into his eyes. “It’s good that you can’t get away…Because Lotor?” She bent down to whisper in his ear, her warm breath feeling delightful as it blew across his skin. “You are going to lie here and listen to everything I have to say now.”